Happy Birthday to my love!

On this day, 2 years ago at 10:35am I had no idea that I would be meeting my hero. Molly was born very big (thank goodness for c-sections) and very blue. She was whisked away so fast. Jay got to hold her long enough to take 2 pictures and they grabbed her from him so they could intubate her and stabilize her. It wasn’t until the next day that I got to hold her for the first time. Little did I know that this would be one of 2 times that I would get to hold her for many many months. I will never forget the day that Molly was born. I wasn’t nervous at all. I wanted her out because I had been in pain for so long and I was ready to meet her. I was so big and so uncomfortable. We had been through so much with this pregnancy and I was ready for it to be over and begin the healing and fixing of this little chunky baby. But at the same time I wanted her to stay inside forever because we had no idea what our life was going to be like and I felt like I could protect her as long as she was inside of me. We arrived at the hospital and everything moved pretty fast. They took me back around 10am while Jay got dressed. There were so many doctors and nurses waiting for Molly. I was so sick. I threw up during the entire surgery. At 10:35 Molly arrived. Even though she was blue she was so beautiful. She had so much hair and she was so loud. I was so happy to hear that cry. It was the only time we would hear that cry for over a year. I was in recovery for 19 hours because I had some issues. I remember Jay telling me that they were waiting for a bed to open up at Children’s Hospital because the hospital that was supposed to take care of her wasn’t equipped and she was so much worse off than they had thought. They wheeled me over to see her after a few hours. I only stayed with her for a few minutes. There were so many machines but it didn’t bother me because she was alive and doing OK. She was still my baby and I was so happy to have her. Four days later I was finally able to see Molly again. We left Tufts and headed over to Children’s. I got my parent badge with an expiration date of 2 weeks. About 20 more badges, countless procedures and scares and 8 months under our belt we had our baby in our care. Two years later we have the cutest, happiest, most stubborn little girl. She is still behind developmentally but I don’t even care. Not in the least bit. Each week she is doing something new. And like always it’s on her terms. She’ll do it when she’s ready. I’m not pushing her to do anything that she isn’t ready for. I’m just so happy to have her with us today. We’re not sure of what our future holds but no one knows their future. Even with the healthiest of kids or people you don’t know what tomorrow brings so why would we? We just know that we make the most of every second we have with her. We try to give her the best life possible and never want or need for anything. We are doing a pretty good job of it because I went out looking to get her something for her birthday and couldn’t figure out one thing to buy her. Two years ago I didn’t know what Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was and never watched an episode of Dora the Explorer. Strawberry Shortcake was just a childhood memory. And now not only do I know the theme songs by heart but I also know the episodes word for word. My life is now cartoons. I couldn’t tell you what is going on in the world. I have zero knowledge of current events. I’ve experienced enough sadness so I’m better off thinking that life is talking mice and a little town called Berry Bity City. She may not walk or talk yet but she is the most loved and cared for little girl that I know and for now that’s all that matters. In one year she started rolling on her belly, then rolling over, sitting up unassisted, was decannulated, overcame a few bugs, few hospital stays, started standing, started eating and drinking by mouth and most recently went from laying down to sitting up and most importantly makes me laugh every single day which is the hardest task of all! .I’ve just never met anyone like her and probably never will again. We are constantly thanking Children’s Hospital, the doctors and nurses but really we need to give all of the credit to her. She did it. She has come this far. She has overcome all of the hurdles. She continued to fight when we didn’t think she had any fight left to give. Or as they like to say in the hospital, she didn’t have any “reserve”. I think it’s pretty safe to say that she has reserve now! She works so hard every single day on things that come so naturally to other kids. I don’t know why we were dealt this hand but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love this girl more than I can ever express in words but I will show her every single day of her life! Happy Birthday to my little chickie!

Last year's birthday photo!