HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

I have a love hate relationship with this time of year. I love it for all of the obvious reasons…the decorations, the lights, the joy on Molly’s face when she sees a snowman or Santa (not the real thing of course), the excitement that she brings to this holiday season and most importantly that we have a happy & healthy (for the most part) 3 ½ year old to share another Christmas with.

This time of year brings back so many memories that I would rather forget about and I really try so hard to put them away but it’s a feeling that I get when I drive by the farm up the street because that’s where we were when I miscarried. I will never be able to shake the feeling that I get when I think about this time of year 4 years ago when we found out that there was something wrong with the baby’s heart. Our crazy journey started this time 4 years ago. We were on top of the world. We had tried so hard to get pregnant and here we were finding out that we were having a girl. Eight days after we found out that the baby was a girl, I received a phone call from the OBGYN telling me we had to get into Boston for a level II ultrasound ASAP. A few days before Christmas we found out that the baby did not have Down’s Syndrome but the heart defects had been confirmed. We were devastated. Now we were supposed to celebrate this Christmas and every Christmas to come remembering how we felt at that moment . The weeks and months to follow were full of doctors appointments, testing, consults, tears, stress and very little laughter.  Last night I let myself think about that time and it made me so sad. But today is a different day. I am reminded how extremely lucky we are. Molly is doing better than most people every expected. Of course she had a rough start but she will never remember any of it. She is a great kid, well behaved, very little trouble, so smart, beautiful inside and out, so funny and entertaining but most importantly she is HEALTHY and that is the greatest Christmas gift of all. I have never considered myself materialistic but gifts are no longer important to me. All that is important is the health and happiness of the person that has forever changed my life. I have said it a million times but I know our journey could’ve went a completely different way but Molly is sitting across from me, watching the same episode of Sofia the First that she has watched 50 million times this week all because of Boston Children’s Hospital, all of the doctors and nurses and surgeons. It makes me beyond happy to know that they do perform miracles and Molly is living proof. Unfortunately, there are several families that are celebrating this holiday without their little ones at home, whether they are in the hospital or have gone to heaven. I think about all of them every single day. My heart breaks for them but I hope they take comfort in everyone that they are surrounded by this holiday. Make sure you appreciate all that you receive for the holidays and don’t take one second of the season for granted!

Much Love & Happy Holidays!

                            Playing outside with her cousin this past weekend!!

                                     Molly's first Christmas spent at Children's!