Heart Parent

Before Molly came along our life was so different. We would go out all of the time. Whether it was to dinner or to a movie, to the mall or just wander around Target and buy things we didn't need. Go fishing (Jay, not me), go our for drinks after work (that would be me!), whatever it is we were always doing something. We had a decent amount of friends that we loved spending time with. Some were closer friends than others but never the less they were still our friends. Friends we though we would have for a life time. Then Molly came along. All of our priorities changed like they would with any child. Except, she consumed much more of our time. We would go to work and dash out of there when it was time to go to rush to the hospital to spend as much time as our very sick baby as we could before we had to go home and do it all over again the next day. While we were in the hospital we weren't thinking about what our friends were doing because we only had one thing on our mind...getting our daughter well enough to come home. Then we were discharged and our life became even more crazy. We were basically housebound with the exception of doctors appointments and hospital visits. As time went on and Molly became more stable and a lot more healthy we were able to take a breath and look around for the first time in a few years and realized "hey, where did everyone go?". The texts and Facebook messages and emails became fewer then eventually stopped, with the exception of the only true friends we ever had. We don't go to the movies anymore, unless it's one that Molly would go to. We don't go out to dinner anymore. I haven't seen the inside of a bar in about 5 years...even if I did I'd probably fall asleep after one drink. Jay's fishing trips are almost non-existent and now when we go to Target, our shopping cart is 90% stuff for Molly. While all of this is OK it becomes a lonely life. I am beyond thrilled to have the few friends I do have but it still makes me sad at times that everyone else moved on without us...all because we were fighting for our daughter's life then to keep her healthy. I'm not sure if it's because they can't relate to us anymore or what. But now that Molly's back in school I have been talking to some of the other mom's while we are waiting to pick our kids up. I think they are curious about Molly and that is probably why they started talking to me and that's OK. I don't mind sharing her story. It makes me feel better to let them know why she is delayed so they're not just guessing why. One mom in particular invited us over for a play date. I hate that term, play date. What ever happened to just asking if Molly could come over and play? Either way...I accepted. It would be great to start making some new friends. Friends that don't care that my kid spent much of her life in and out of a hospital and accept her for who she is and the amazing little girl that she is becoming. I don't want Molly to be treated differently because I feel like when she is being treated differently I am too and it's not a fun feeling. So by this mom asking if we wanted to come over it made me feel accepted once again. I am not a huggy person but I kinda wanted to hug her for asking me!

This is only a smidge of what we go through as a heart parent but this is the stuff that we can deal with!

Thank you for listening to my rant : )

Kerry